The page cannot be displayed because you need some fresh air.

The page you are looking for is currently unavailable. Your ISP has told us that you're on-line several hours each day, and that just ain't right.

Please, get a life and try the following:

  • Don't Click the Don't push this button! Refresh button, Go outside NOW.

  • If you feel like you're about to spend another $100 on Amazon or Ebay, contact Computer Shoppers Anonymous.

  • To go outside, click the Cyber Hypnosis menu, and then click Cold Water In The Face. On the Numb-Ass tab, click Sedentary Back Pain. The Lift Your Ass Out Of The Chair settings should match those provided by your local chiropractic professional.

  • If your Evil Computer Addict Persona has enabled it, we can examine your network and automatically discover a way to wake you up from your computer-induced stupor.

  • If you would like us to try and discover a way to shock you back to reality, click Detect Computer-Induced Stupor

  • There are a host of things to do in the outside world: fishing, skiing, golfing, skeet shooting, triathlons, PTA meetings, motorcycling and even dentist appointments, for example.

  • If you are unable to get up, Click Here. and your surge protector or UPS can emit a large enough shock through your keyboard to scare you back to your senses.  If that doesn't work, then we give up.  You are officially in need of serious professional help.  Dial 1-800-GET-HELP on your computer's keypad to reach a mental health professional nearest you.

  • Whatever you decide to do, don't click the Back button to try another link.

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