Please, get a life and try the following:
Your Ass Out Of The Chair
settings should match those provided by your local
- Don't Click the
Go outside NOW.
- If you feel like you're about to spend another
$100 on Amazon or Ebay, contact Computer Shoppers Anonymous.
- To go outside, click the Cyber Hypnosis menu, and then click
Cold Water In The Face. On the Numb-Ass tab, click Sedentary
If your Evil Computer Addict Persona has enabled it, we can examine your network and automatically discover
a way to wake you up from your computer-induced stupor.
If you would like us to try and discover a way to shock you back
to reality, click
Detect Computer-Induced Stupor
There are a host of things to do in the outside world: fishing, skiing,
golfing, skeet shooting, triathlons, PTA meetings, motorcycling and even dentist
appointments, for example.
If you are unable to get up, Click
Here and your surge protector or UPS can emit a large enough shock
through your keyboard to scare you back to your senses. If that
doesn't work, then we give up. You are officially in need of
serious professional help. Dial 1-800-GET-HELP on your computer's
keypad to reach a mental health professional nearest you.
Whatever you decide to do, don't click the
Back button to try another link.
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